Wednesday, 28 December 2011
The biggest question in life?
"Why aren't gay people allowed to get married, but Nickelback are allowed to keep making albums?"
“People are listening to you, people are supporting you. And if you could just have faith that things will change, and stick in there, I promise you it will get better. Is it going to be easy? No. Nothing in life is. Is it worth the struggle? It is. There is nothing greater in life than to be able to be who you are.”-Ellen DeGeneres
Hush Hush
My home country has one of the worlds highest suicide rates. There are a plethora of factors which i can't even begin to explain that are both universal, and national; contributing to the sad statistic of five hundred per 365-day period. I will never-the-less ram through some of my theories and principles on the subject beginning first with the old-age idea that if you "hush" away a certain topic it will disappear, not exist, not be encouraged, or glorified. (this also relates to the idea in the 1950's that homosexuality as covered up from existing, meant people who are older than the baby boomer generation still think that gays and lesbians have not been around for a lengthy period of time), but I digress to the issue of self-annihilation next.
It is currently unlawful for any publication in New Zealand to publish an article specifying that a suicide has taken place in regards to the individual involved. This law was passed many years ago under the then accepted idea that broadcasting the decision a person makes to kamikaze themselves, would only fuel a kind of "copy cat" mentality and exacerbate the problem. That theory and the reasoning behind it to me is irrevocably false and disordered. The only way to heal is to communicate. Silence is the enemy of progress and integration, and the compete antithesis to what society should expect on a topic which kills more citizens per week than any other cause (to my young knowledge, but seriously five people per week committing suicide is insane!!). In each instance, the suicide of a person is mourned by those closely involved, silenced by the broader laws and deafened to the immediate populous, then easily swept under the rug once the mourning process has ended for the family involved.
To print that a death happened "under no suspicious circumstances" has appeared to be the most recognizable way for a newspaper or media agency to extend the idea that an individual has exited the world by their own will, not the will of another person (murder, manslaughter, euthanasia), or the will of a medical affliction (heart attack, cancer, etcetera). It is an odious way to supersede the law and standards while barely acknowledging the problem, it is not nearly alarming enough to people with no knowledge of the person involved.
There is going to be no community discussion over the fact a human being felt so isolated and locked in their own hell that they had to pull a trigger, swing from a rope, or gas a four walled vehicle. The lack of such outpouring emotion from the community and frank discussion over the disgusting anguish suicide causes only fuels the ideas among people who have mental health issues or extreme life pains that they are in fact the only ones whom have had a problem and therefore there is a lack of hope, help, understanding and recourse to their feelings of self-loathing. Out of sight, out of mind.
People can't heal on their own. No-one can. It's impossible.
A brother, sister, mother, father, uncle, aunty, grandparent, friend or partner will seemingly go quiet, or missing, and then one day not exist anymore. Our world, and my country in general has a deplorable "she'll be right" attitude that not only causes apathy involving child abuse and self-inflicted death but also an antipathy for real life issues that are minimized to insults calling people "emo's," which makes for a very toxic cocktail of bottled up negative energy and a bloodbath of lost lives and feelings that were out of repair for what could have only been a transitory stage. Humans are obsessed and wrapped up in the "complexities" of their own lives and moreso their work; so as that noticeable differences in another persons demeanor or words go unnoticed.
This world is meant to be inhibited by creatures whom communicate eighty percent through non-verbal communication. Without eclipsing my previous statement into an internet issue, I turn to those of us who still do not bother to notice anything out of the ordinary with the people around us in day to day life (although while ironically pointing out superficially "wrong" aspects of peoples personalities, looks, goals and opinions). I am not to say that I blame people whom are busy and wrapped in life otherwise we'd all be guilty of not perceiving a threat to a life or whatever; I merely point out that as products in a world where the "normal" thing is to value time and money over personal relationships we should stop,.. take a look at the landscape permeating our existence and then try to change it for the better.
The first thing in my opinion is a legal overhaul of the archaic and harmful suicide legislation that is primitive and destructive in its efforts to deny people the knowledge that a problem envelopes society. The second thing in my opinion is a complete change in how people deal with "the other," for one, to stop using the word "normal" in such a broad context with a negative connotation stapled to it when thrown at someone a person happens to disagree with. I sit here in wonder at my own writings, consistently reminding myself as conditioned by our society that my views are outlandish and how can it be possible to expect people to just stop using one word? What difference would one word make?
I can't answer that. All I can do is offer my thoughts hither to the dynamics of our world that are clearly causing the wrong things to happen. Unfortunately things remain the same by and large, and therefore the idea "everything happens for a reason" exists only if in fact it existing causes more heartache and despair for everybody involved.
It is currently unlawful for any publication in New Zealand to publish an article specifying that a suicide has taken place in regards to the individual involved. This law was passed many years ago under the then accepted idea that broadcasting the decision a person makes to kamikaze themselves, would only fuel a kind of "copy cat" mentality and exacerbate the problem. That theory and the reasoning behind it to me is irrevocably false and disordered. The only way to heal is to communicate. Silence is the enemy of progress and integration, and the compete antithesis to what society should expect on a topic which kills more citizens per week than any other cause (to my young knowledge, but seriously five people per week committing suicide is insane!!). In each instance, the suicide of a person is mourned by those closely involved, silenced by the broader laws and deafened to the immediate populous, then easily swept under the rug once the mourning process has ended for the family involved.
To print that a death happened "under no suspicious circumstances" has appeared to be the most recognizable way for a newspaper or media agency to extend the idea that an individual has exited the world by their own will, not the will of another person (murder, manslaughter, euthanasia), or the will of a medical affliction (heart attack, cancer, etcetera). It is an odious way to supersede the law and standards while barely acknowledging the problem, it is not nearly alarming enough to people with no knowledge of the person involved.
There is going to be no community discussion over the fact a human being felt so isolated and locked in their own hell that they had to pull a trigger, swing from a rope, or gas a four walled vehicle. The lack of such outpouring emotion from the community and frank discussion over the disgusting anguish suicide causes only fuels the ideas among people who have mental health issues or extreme life pains that they are in fact the only ones whom have had a problem and therefore there is a lack of hope, help, understanding and recourse to their feelings of self-loathing. Out of sight, out of mind.
People can't heal on their own. No-one can. It's impossible.
A brother, sister, mother, father, uncle, aunty, grandparent, friend or partner will seemingly go quiet, or missing, and then one day not exist anymore. Our world, and my country in general has a deplorable "she'll be right" attitude that not only causes apathy involving child abuse and self-inflicted death but also an antipathy for real life issues that are minimized to insults calling people "emo's," which makes for a very toxic cocktail of bottled up negative energy and a bloodbath of lost lives and feelings that were out of repair for what could have only been a transitory stage. Humans are obsessed and wrapped up in the "complexities" of their own lives and moreso their work; so as that noticeable differences in another persons demeanor or words go unnoticed.
This world is meant to be inhibited by creatures whom communicate eighty percent through non-verbal communication. Without eclipsing my previous statement into an internet issue, I turn to those of us who still do not bother to notice anything out of the ordinary with the people around us in day to day life (although while ironically pointing out superficially "wrong" aspects of peoples personalities, looks, goals and opinions). I am not to say that I blame people whom are busy and wrapped in life otherwise we'd all be guilty of not perceiving a threat to a life or whatever; I merely point out that as products in a world where the "normal" thing is to value time and money over personal relationships we should stop,.. take a look at the landscape permeating our existence and then try to change it for the better.
The first thing in my opinion is a legal overhaul of the archaic and harmful suicide legislation that is primitive and destructive in its efforts to deny people the knowledge that a problem envelopes society. The second thing in my opinion is a complete change in how people deal with "the other," for one, to stop using the word "normal" in such a broad context with a negative connotation stapled to it when thrown at someone a person happens to disagree with. I sit here in wonder at my own writings, consistently reminding myself as conditioned by our society that my views are outlandish and how can it be possible to expect people to just stop using one word? What difference would one word make?
I can't answer that. All I can do is offer my thoughts hither to the dynamics of our world that are clearly causing the wrong things to happen. Unfortunately things remain the same by and large, and therefore the idea "everything happens for a reason" exists only if in fact it existing causes more heartache and despair for everybody involved.
Sexuality 101
I don't know exactly when I realized I wasn't like the "other boys" in school but I certainly had feminine traits tracing back to my first memory in 1999. I was born in 1994. The first time I realized I "liked" boys as well as girls would have been at about age seven. I was watching television one day and I remember becoming aroused over a naked male shower gel ad. The next morning I asked my grandmother, why this had occurred to which I frankly remember her telling me "no it didn't", as if in somehow re-writing history I would not turn out abnormal. Whoops.
I remember being attracted to Jin and Kazuya in Tekken 2 when I was about ten years old. I'm sure I had fantasies about them even though they were just animated 3D fighting game characters. Then came the television show Hercules whom I thought was pretty hot. Of course, being eleven years old I kept these odd feelings to myself, thinking that perhaps it was "just a phase" or something. I guess back then I didn't acknowledge it, it wasn't until I was twelve and in my final year of primary (elementary school) that I really analyzed the world and my place in it and figured out that whether I liked it or not, I was always to be different.
It's strange to think that I spent seven years of my youth lying to every single person in my life. Not a peep from me about any of my homosexual feelings until I had finally left school at age eighteen. I think I revelled in it somewhat. The mystery, the intrigue, hiding out in plain sight. It was captivating while also incredibly frustrating and lonely. If you grow up in a world where every other person is heterosexual and where you feel like admitting you are any different from that will ruin and ostracize your chances of having friends and the life the people around you give you based on the assumption that everybody is straight unless they say they are not. This is why I can't understand religious people, whom think that being gay or bisexual is some kind of choice that just happens to people on a random basis.
For me, being not heterosexual was a painfully anticipated process, disrupted and deferred almost all of the time based on my own fear of being different and my longing to fit in to the status quo and maintain the image of my life as a teenager that I was used to. Sometimes in life, you really need to delve deep into yourself and forget everything other people expect out of you as a member of society, and develop yourself as a human being free of social constraints. Rich, white, straight men I guess never really have to think twice about inequality or difference because everything is a given to those types of people in life. You know, role models, expectations, rite-of-passage, the prom, getting married, children, work, old age, death. It's mapped out in a way that gives normal people like that a sense of comfort and permanence in their abilities to exact what will happen in the future.
I guess a part of the whole gay-rights movement does scare them in a sense that the world they know themselves doesn't as a matter of fact exist in reality. Most straight people would prefer to keep any type of "other" hidden, or at least to a lower form of status. It pains me that they can't see why homosexual people want the same kind of mapped out expectation as them? People don't want the government and society at large (as well as religious leaders) constantly demeaning their entire existence. You know, religious leaders assume gays and lesbians are sexual deviants but never actually stop to ask why that stereotype whether true or not exists. I would vouch for the plain idea that having grown up in a world that does not support stable gay relationships as something people should respect; sends a subtle message to gay and lesbian people that there is no real point in... monogamy... celibacy... and chastity.
Is that what religious people want? Homosexual people covered up throughout time, only able to slut it up in private, away from any kind of actual relationship, family or legal rights? If so I think that's quite sad. I feel pity for people whom can't see the obvious in the world and instead rely on the unreal and outlandish reasons for denying people the simple human favor of equal treatment.
Tuesday, 27 December 2011
The time has come for Marriage Equality.
You have finally met the person of your dreams. You and said person have been together for a few years now, and the two of you want to get married. Unfortunately, the laws in your state forbid this. Why? Because you and the person of your dreams are of the same sex. Governments are allowed to infringe on the rights of certain individuals simply because certain groups of people are violently opposed to the happiness of people who are different from them. Is that really the world we live in? Of course not. Let's take a look into the minds of those people who are so set against letting you and your significant other get married, shall we?
Reason number one: The Bible says it's wrong. So what? The Bible says a lot of things are wrong. According to the Bible, women aren't allowed to speak in church (1 Corinthians 14:34) and people in general aren't allowed to wear clothing made of more than one type of cloth (Leviticus 19:19). I'm sure people against gay marriage would be violently opposed to slavery, which is accepted in the Bible, so why not let homosexuals get married? Do they just pick and choose what to acknowledge in the Bible because they're afraid of certain groups of people? Jesus teaches us to love our neighbors and show kindness to everyone, which I think is a more important point made in the Bible than "homosexuality is a sin."
Okay, so let's say that the "against the Bible" argument is valid. … Aaaand? This country was founded on the principal that church and state are SEPARATE, meaning we can't make laws because of religion. A lot of people say, "Well, yes, we SAY that church and state are separate, but this country was founded on CHRISTIAN principles and marriage is something sacred to the CHURCH!" No, no, no, no, no, dear. That's so wrong it'd be funny if you weren't serious. Just because we were founded on Christian principles doesn't mean you can restrict the rights of people who want to do something that WON'T AFFECT YOUR CHANCE OF GETTING INTO HEAVAN IN ANY WAY, SHAPE, OR FORM. Also, what about people of other religions, such as Buddhists? They live here, too, you know. In much smaller numbers, but they're still here. Their marriage is just as legal as a Christian marriage, isn't it? And, if marriage is something sacred to the church, would somebody mind telling me why there are so many laws pertaining to it? Marriage is a sacred bond, yes, but there are other parts of it that aren't very religious, such as filing taxes jointly or social security benefits. Does the Bible say anything about that? I don't think so.
Other people who argue against gay marriage say that it's wrong because it wrecks the idea of a traditional marriage. So what? Slavery was a tradition. Traditionally, blacks and whites don't intermarry. A similar argument is that gays being allowed to marry would interfere with the "sanctity" of marriage. What does interfere with the sanctity of marriage is people who rush into it, who get married for looks and money instead of for love and end up hating each other and getting divorced. Straights are just as likely to do this as gays, so why do we let them get married? Oh, right, because it's traditional.
"Think of the children! If we tell them it's okay to be gay, they'll be converted into one of those sick heathens!" A lot of people will say that homosexuality is a choice and that gays will "convert" kids into gays… Uh, what? Can straight people CHOOSE who they are attracted to? I know I can't, and I guarantee that if you think about it, you'll realize that you can't really choose, either. "Well, think of the world's population! If we allow gay marriage, the human race will go extinct because we'll stop producing children!" …Uh, what? First of all, there are close to seven BILLION people in the world, and that number is expected to increase by approximately 77 million people every year. Second of all, think of all the unmarried mothers there are, and all the unfertile women and impotent men. Marriage doesn't dictate whether or not children are produced. However, it DOES dictate whether or not a couple can adopt a kid. Some will argue that gay couples wouldn't make good parents, which, by the way, is a completely unfounded fear, and even if they DIDN'T make good parents, neither do abusive parents, and neither do crowded orphanages, and neither does bouncing from foster family to foster family. Compared to those options, I think being raised by a loving gay couple seems fairly reasonable.
These are just a few of the most prominentarguments against gay marriage and why they're bigoted, uneducated, and generally invalid. There are so many more reasons why gay marriage should be legalized in the world, and I sincerely hope that prejudices against gays will not be allowed to thrive much longer.
Reason number one: The Bible says it's wrong. So what? The Bible says a lot of things are wrong. According to the Bible, women aren't allowed to speak in church (1 Corinthians 14:34) and people in general aren't allowed to wear clothing made of more than one type of cloth (Leviticus 19:19). I'm sure people against gay marriage would be violently opposed to slavery, which is accepted in the Bible, so why not let homosexuals get married? Do they just pick and choose what to acknowledge in the Bible because they're afraid of certain groups of people? Jesus teaches us to love our neighbors and show kindness to everyone, which I think is a more important point made in the Bible than "homosexuality is a sin."
Okay, so let's say that the "against the Bible" argument is valid. … Aaaand? This country was founded on the principal that church and state are SEPARATE, meaning we can't make laws because of religion. A lot of people say, "Well, yes, we SAY that church and state are separate, but this country was founded on CHRISTIAN principles and marriage is something sacred to the CHURCH!" No, no, no, no, no, dear. That's so wrong it'd be funny if you weren't serious. Just because we were founded on Christian principles doesn't mean you can restrict the rights of people who want to do something that WON'T AFFECT YOUR CHANCE OF GETTING INTO HEAVAN IN ANY WAY, SHAPE, OR FORM. Also, what about people of other religions, such as Buddhists? They live here, too, you know. In much smaller numbers, but they're still here. Their marriage is just as legal as a Christian marriage, isn't it? And, if marriage is something sacred to the church, would somebody mind telling me why there are so many laws pertaining to it? Marriage is a sacred bond, yes, but there are other parts of it that aren't very religious, such as filing taxes jointly or social security benefits. Does the Bible say anything about that? I don't think so.
Other people who argue against gay marriage say that it's wrong because it wrecks the idea of a traditional marriage. So what? Slavery was a tradition. Traditionally, blacks and whites don't intermarry. A similar argument is that gays being allowed to marry would interfere with the "sanctity" of marriage. What does interfere with the sanctity of marriage is people who rush into it, who get married for looks and money instead of for love and end up hating each other and getting divorced. Straights are just as likely to do this as gays, so why do we let them get married? Oh, right, because it's traditional.
"Think of the children! If we tell them it's okay to be gay, they'll be converted into one of those sick heathens!" A lot of people will say that homosexuality is a choice and that gays will "convert" kids into gays… Uh, what? Can straight people CHOOSE who they are attracted to? I know I can't, and I guarantee that if you think about it, you'll realize that you can't really choose, either. "Well, think of the world's population! If we allow gay marriage, the human race will go extinct because we'll stop producing children!" …Uh, what? First of all, there are close to seven BILLION people in the world, and that number is expected to increase by approximately 77 million people every year. Second of all, think of all the unmarried mothers there are, and all the unfertile women and impotent men. Marriage doesn't dictate whether or not children are produced. However, it DOES dictate whether or not a couple can adopt a kid. Some will argue that gay couples wouldn't make good parents, which, by the way, is a completely unfounded fear, and even if they DIDN'T make good parents, neither do abusive parents, and neither do crowded orphanages, and neither does bouncing from foster family to foster family. Compared to those options, I think being raised by a loving gay couple seems fairly reasonable.
These are just a few of the most prominentarguments against gay marriage and why they're bigoted, uneducated, and generally invalid. There are so many more reasons why gay marriage should be legalized in the world, and I sincerely hope that prejudices against gays will not be allowed to thrive much longer.
Coming Out
Coming out wasn't that hard. But the years leading up to it were. I remember feeling so isolated in high school. I remember thinking that I was a freak as a child. Feeling that I was somehow unnatural, deformed, like an alien. Not simply just out of the ordinary, at age ten I knew that there was something "wrong" with me. I felt as though I was the only one who was sick in a world full of properly functioning individuals.
Because there were no such things as gay characters on television back then, all I ever observed growing up were the prince and the princess, the boyfriend and the girlfriend, and so on. It was very strange being a homosexual child because there was zero communication about the subject and no way for a me, as a young person to have any idea who I was and more importantly, why I am the way I am. Humans are constantly asking "why?" in life, observing and sleuthing answers. Where there are no answers the silence to a topic can become deafening in its own right.
Perhaps these days it's different with shows like Glee, but the stigma associated with homosexuality still permeates our world. Many families only speak of it in negative terms with words such as "sinful" "unnatural" and "disgusting" being associated with hints of paedophilia and sickness. These world views are ingrained in deep religious feelings, associated with Leviticus from the bible. Such hatred is split to the next generation of children who take the same opinions to the playground and systematically use their parent’s moral opinions as a way to justify their bullying.
I want to put forward my reasons for saying "it gets better". The first thing people need to understand is that public sentiment to homosexuality is swiftly shifting in favour of equal rights and liberty. It is no longer acceptable in a free and democratic society for anybody to equate gay people as paedophiles, or is it legally acceptable in most good countries to deny housing or employment to persons based on sexuality.
The second thing to note is a change in the way global courts are reacting to issues concerning abuse, denial of rights and inequality to people who are Gay. While the Court of European human rights didn't extend to European countries the responsibility of making same-sex legal, it did state that there was an "emerging legal consensus" that such unions are becoming the norm. This year alone, three more countries legalized same sex marriage (Iceland, Argentina and Mexico), and a whole slew of others legalized civil unions. There is also currently a same-sex marriage bill in the Chile congress which if passes will bring a total of eleven countries in the world enabling full equal rights to all citizens. New South Wales in Australia became the fourth state in the country to legalize same-sex adoption. A California court struck down Proposition 8 which eliminated the rights for same-sex couples in C.A. to get married. A federal judge struck down the Defence of Marriage Act as partly unconstitutional shortly before another judge ruled the military ban, "Don't ask don't tell" completely and without any rational basis unconstitutional as-well.
This Blog is dedicated to you, each and everyone of you.
This blog goes out to every boy bullied after school
Because he kissed his boyfriend in public
This goes out to every girl that their Father won't look at
Because he caught her holding hands in the mall with her girlfriend
This is for every Father who isn't allowed to see his child
Because he's married to another man, and his child's Mother is homophobic
This is for every mother whose child is in a foster home
Because she is married to another woman
To every boy who is afraid to use the public bathroom
Because he might get security dragging him out
To every girl who is afraid to show her face in class
Because the cool girls will harass her
To every boy who quit the football team
Because they found out he was gay
To every girl whose parents won't let her hang around 'that group'
Because they think they influenced her to date girls
To every boy who has to get cured by god
Because he confided in his catholic parents that he was gay
To every girl that gets called a slut
Because secret got out that she is bi
This is to Mum and Dad
I'm sorry that I'm different
Off-beat
And a disappointment
And I'm sorry you'll probably never understand
I'm sorry you can't accept me for who I am
But most of all, I think you should be the ones saying sorry, for not being proud of everything your Son is.
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